I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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