I wish I could teleport
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize