worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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