bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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