This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
do nipples grow back?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
