quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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