I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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