Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize