What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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