Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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