Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
