dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize