We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
