Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
