Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
