i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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