I am puke
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
