should my penis look like a turkey
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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