How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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