Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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