heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
