Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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