I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
