She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
