I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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