you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dear god my vagina.
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