Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
