plz talk dirty to me
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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