ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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