I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
