dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
