Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
