oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
