My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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