I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
