and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
