Michael Bay diarrhea
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
