he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
