What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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