I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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