You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
