Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
