That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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