so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
