I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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