fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
