Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
