You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
