just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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