I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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