I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
