when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
