they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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