I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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