One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
