OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
