pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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