And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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