I heard we made out
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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