OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
