new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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