I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
